Monday, January 14, 2013

If running was easy... :(

Seriously, I hate people who seem to be born with lean genes. I mean come on, stop acting like you worked hard for it. All of us know atleast one person who falls into this 'elite' category. Someone who is loved and appreciated on face but is the target of all those cuss words we say while running on a steep incline.

To be honest, I used to be one till age 25 or so, eat what you like, as much as you like,  take your motobike even if you want to travel 135 meters and..... still no flab, no extra chins, no jiggly-jaggly embarrassing upper body while walking etc etc. Just lean muscle, 12-14% body fat percentage, 21-22 BMI with some visible muscle definition.

And, suddenly one fine day something changes and you dont notice it, so you keep eating the way you do and taking your motorbike everywhere. But, suddenly your body has decided to shift gears from 'who gives a crap' to 'WTF have I been eating' and in 2-5 months (depending upon your daily food intake and average torso girth of your immediate family) you cant just run down the stairs without people noticing a 'bounce' in your shirt. DAMN EMBARRASSING.
I still did not realize the gravity of this situation then and let it happen. It took almost 6 months and embarrassing name calling from friends and my girlfriend that I decided to join a gym and start running. Initial reaction: "Hah, I'll just start running from tomorrow morning, maybe run 4-5 kms each day at a good pace and in a week or two, I'll be  back to my old self, easy".  That weekend was spent in buying some high end running equipment and apparel, best running shoes from Nike, matching apparel, arm/head bands, separate earphones (who carries the sweaty ones to office? do you? gross). I looked like a runner, a pretty serious one at that, tomorrow we will see if I actually was one.

1) It took me mere 5-6 seconds to do the first 15 meters and 5-6 minutes to regain my breath.
2) None of the usual morning walkers there had seen someone so professionally dressed for the task but totally miserable at it. (I could have been sponsored by Nike)
3) The headband was probably a overkill.
3) Thankfully the Canadian lady who used to run usually, did not come that day.

(I did not venture out to run for another week)

You see the point, right. Running is hard. To the uninitiated it looks like a slightly faster dumb activity of putting one feet ahead after the other,  its not. Well it took me almost 8 months to justify the expensive running gear purchase, just about. By the end of one full year running I could manage 5 Kms without a couple of cardiac arrests. Achievement. This could have become a lifelong passion and lead to Marathons and Olympic golds but then you know how it is outside the daydream world. Too happy with myself and my new found old physique, I stepped off the running bandwagon and onto the pizza/garlic bread/paranthas one. I was sure, now that I've figured out running I will just start again, when ever I want and then viola lean again. Wrong, idiot, moron.
It had taken me almost 6 months to first gain weight, it took me 2 now.  Once the body discovers its elasticity of expansion, its hard to restrict it to normal, sexy, Brad Pitt-ish parameters. And, then began my on sometimes, off often love affair with running. In the meantime I've discovered some smart ways of masquerading the michelins at my waist and 2.1 chins with strategic clothing patterns, color combinations and tactful use of facial hair.
I usually wake up at 5:30 AM, run 5 Kms four times a week clocking 27-30 mins per run and currently weigh the lightest I've been in the last 3 years. Not that I love to, I HAVE to. What with all these tailored shirts and size M t-shirts I've bought recently, I actually cant afford a size jump now, or for atleast 6 more months. I am screwed.

Only if running was easy... :(


  1. "In the meantime I've discovered some smart ways of masquerading the michelins at my waist and 2.1 chins with strategic clothing patterns, color combinations and tactful use of facial hair." Hahahaha! I totally hear you (except for the strategic facial hair part - I (un)fortunately do not have that in my tool kit. Am trying to get back 'on again' in my love affair because, yes, I *have* to.

    1. Haha....No Facial hair??? Eh..
      Seriously I realized I would have to take a 'two-pronged' approach to tackling weight issues, running and sly clothing management :)